Die For Me by Amy Plum

Blurb:

My life had always been blissfully, wonderfully normal. But it only took one moment to change everything.

Suddenly, my sister, Georgia, and I were orphans. We put our lives into storage and moved to Paris to live with my grandparents. And I knew my shattered heart, my shattered life, would never feel normal again. Then I met Vincent.

Mysterious, sexy, and unnervingly charming, Vincent Delacroix appeared out of nowhere and swept me off my feet. Just like that, I was in danger of losing my heart all over again. But I was ready to let it happen.

Of course, nothing is ever that easy. Because Vincent is no normal human. He has a terrifying destiny, one that puts his life at risk every day. He also has enemies . . . immortal, murderous enemies who are determined to destroy him and all of his kind.

While I'm fighting to piece together the remnants of my life, can I risk putting my heart—as well as my life and my family's—in jeopardy for a chance at love?

My Thoughts:

My Bullshit Meter was going off on this book. I really tried to get into this book. Lovely book, great character (notice the singular use) but . . . And there's a HUGE but here, I just couldn't believe how she slaughtered the myth. I just couldn't believe it. There's going to be a spoiler in here just to let you know. Now, let's list the reasons why I couldn't keep reading this book:

1. Vincent

I never really got this character. In the beginning he was a believable teenage boy and acted like it. But as soon as he told her who he really was then it started going south. 

He kept spouting off how much he liked her and why. And even the MAIN CHARACTER called him out on his bullshit!

I'm sorry, but that just screams to me: Why would you stay with a guy who practically told you in your face that he likes you and has an attachment to you, not because of who you are, but because of what he has done to you?

I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. 

Then he told her that he would stay with her despite that his elder didn't like her. And even at one point the elder dude was like, "That's your problem. You need to deal with it."

Like kill her? And you said this IN FRONT OF HER?

Anyway, I'm not going to even deal with that. 

But once again, that's bullshit and he knew it. 

And he said, "I've never felt this way about another woman. I swear it."

Um, I'm sorry, but I just don't believe that either. If humans have known about what they are before, what's to say he didn't fall in love with any of them?

I'm sorry, but I'm calling it. I just don't trust this character. And the main character didn't trust him either, yet she continues to have a relationship with him?

Nope, I don't believe it. Bullshit.

I guess I should call this Bullshit Bingo (in honor of JA Konrath and Barry), because there was a lot of in this book that I just couldn't believe.

2. Myths revamping gone terribly wrong

*******SPOILER ALERT******************

Now that we got that all straightened out, here's what I really couldn't believe:

Zombie+Ghost+Vampire powers=Revenant

Bullshit!

I'm sorry, but either you are a ghost, a zombie, or a vampire.

You can't be all three. Pick ONE and play with the myth a little.

Sure, I will be the first one to admit: Mixing two is fine. I didn't even catch Andrea Cremer doing it until the second book, but she did it wonderfully.

And I will be the first one to admit: There's an exception with every rule, BUT Amy Plum didn't do a great job on weaving all three together.

I just couldn't believe she didn't want to call her creatures ghosts or zombies.

Well, I'm sorry Ms. Plum, when you raise somebody from the dead, they are technically zombies.

If they are floating around after they are dead, they are technically called ghosts.

If they have magic powers . . . Well, they can be any creature, but it reads more of a vampire sorta power to me.

So, in my opinion, they are a mix of all three. 

And then the whole, "Well, we were raised back up for a mission: To save lives."

Bullshit!!

So not only have you got zombies, ghosts, and vampire powers all rolled into one, but you also have guardian angel capabilities?

Let's say this all together: PICK ONE!

Sure, there's nothing wrong with blending two myths together. It's tough, but it can be done. However, when you include a fourth myth then that's when things start to get a little bit hinky.

Yes, hinky, as in, this is SO not believable that I want to scream: Bullshit!

Then of course, they have to have an archnemises, so they called numa (which sounds like a number, but you just add an a and viola! Superbad evil name, right? Um, no) and they are the direct opposite and their mission: To kill people.

Bullshit!

And they fight with swords?

Bullshit!

I'm sorry, but I really, really don't buy that.

*************END OF SPOILER********************

In the end, I can sum up this part pretty quickly: If you're going to revamp a myth, then please pick one monster to do.

When in doubt, use this KISS: Keep It Simple Sweetheart.

There's no need to over complicate things and try to be like, "Oh well, since every mythical creature has been done, let me try to combine four mythical creatures into ONE and write this as my first novel."

No. That's too much for even an experienced writer to try. Just keep it simple and pick one. Please. For all of our sakes.

You might want to write that down young budding writers: When trying something new for the first time a) do research b) keep it simple. 

You don't see me trying to roll four or five or six creatures into one, do you? Or any other experienced authors doing that, do you?

There's a reason. 

3. The romance

When Kate and Vincent are alone, I believe it. 

There were some parts when Vincent said something, I just rolled my eyes. I didn't believe him for a second.

Neither did Kate, which is why I like her. She calls him out on his bullshit. And I like the fact that she gets that she is grieving which may be affecting her judgement.

Because it is. Her brain screams no, but she keeps wanting to get closer to him even though it couldn't work unless she turns into the same mythical creature that he is. So that's where the romance, for me anyway, falls apart.

And of course, there were some Bella and Edward moments where I was like, "Really? Twilight reference again?" I'm so sick of publishers giving us the same romance over and over and over again.

Aren't you?

This is the EXACT reason why I love self-publishing: No borders. No one to tell you that your work isn't marketable. No one . . .

All right, all right. I won't go on and on about self-publishing. But I am glad I'm doing it and other authors are too. I might even buy a few this Christmas. :) *cue shit-eating grin!*

Anyway, those were my reasons. I really hope other people can enjoy it but as for me, I can't. My Bullshit Meter kept going off and I just couldn't take it anymore.

Goodbye Amy Plum! Hello Janet Evanovich!