You know that time in your life where everything is going so well that you question it?
I mean, sure there is a couple of blind spots in my life which would improve (which is a whole other discussion) but otherwise, I'm happy. I have a teaching job at Portsmouth Public Schools. I will soon have an apartment that I will fall in love with and move into which I may seriously think of turning the second bedroom into a library.
Hey what can I say? I'm a bibliophile and proud of it.
And, I will be publishing Angel Diaries probably this week. This book is a five year journey that suddenly makes a u-turn here. If you would have asked me five years ago if I would self-publish my book, I would laughed in your face.
Now, it's the most exciting thing ever. The book cover is ready. The blurb is fantastic (after struggling with that thing for MONTHS!). And the manuscript is publishing ready.
And boy am I nervous! I never thought I would be publishing it at this time. At first, I thought that I wouldn't be able to afford it since I don't have the money and I'm not making any money either (broke college student and all). But thanks to my editor who gave me a great price, Ricki, it was all possible!
Now that the time has come, so to speak, I just don't know what's going to happen. Don't get me wrong. I want this book to be published. I want people to read it and enjoy it, but I don't know the reaction I will get.
I guess I feel insecure about this book since it's so different, it's so odd, and it's my first stab into the darkness that is PNR. I know some authors don't delve right into horror or the dark side of paranormal, but I would like to think I did.
Writing it was something that threw me in for a loop. I wrote it, or at least came with the concept, while I was still in high school. My last year. Probably one of the harshest years in my life in high school. College was worse. College is where I felt real pain but high school is where I first encountered it.
Anyway, I knew at that time I was tired of writing about rainbows and happily ever afters. I knew I wanted to write about the struggle I was in. I knew I wanted to write about the darkness that surrounds us all.
I knew I wanted to write something completely different.
And Angel Diaries just blew me away.
I know I should be rejoicing and happy that I've finally made it to the publishing step, but somehow, I'm a bit sad. I guess this is what my parents felt when I went to college, then grew more independent as the years moved along.
I guess I'm a bit nervous and sad since this book is my baby. I've seen it at its worse and at its best. And this by far is its best. I know that when people review it, it will be based on the characters and the plot and not on grammar mistakes and misplaced words.
Angel Diaries Volume One will stand on its own.
I guess I'm just being worried for nothing. I know I got the green light from proofreaders, critiquers, and other friends and family who fell in love with it like I did.
I guess I'm nervous about fans and about their response. I know the fans love Jia. But what about Lindsey? She's not my typical teen hero. She's not quite normal nor quite on this side of weird either.
She's something I wasn't prepared for. For years I wrote about the female protagonist who has that weird factor, that particular part of them that makes them special. Unique. Jia has that charactertistic yet Lindsey doesn't.
I just don't know how this will turn out. I wish I had a crystal ball like Jia sometimes, other times I'm glad I can't see the future.
I guess after this whole journey of self discovery, delving into darkness and coming out looking the same but at the same time never ever writing the same, I guess this is the moment where if this whole thing has been worth it.
This is the time to let my book shine.
He was forbidden. Uncontrollable. Never to be seen, mentioned, or otherwise talked about. Until the nightmares began. Searing the screams, carnage and death into her skull. Forever.
Before this, Lindsey had a normal life. Somewhat. She had a boyfriend who was acting strange, an ex-boyfriend who has been too flirtatious and a best friend who turned psychic.
Once upon a time, the hardest decision Lindsey had to make was who she would take to the upcoming Winter Dance: her boyfriend, Philip, or her ex, Luke. Now,
she's not even human. She's an Angel.